Reflections (this is probably going to be boring, FYI)

Although today was a National strike (la grève), I left around the same time as yesterday and got to the formation 5 minutes faster than I did yesterday morning (I took the tram to the metro because I didn't know if the buses would keep their regular schedules). Not everyone strikes on these days and the transportation system isn't hit quite at hard as when there are transportation specific strikes (which unfortunately, Victor and I have experienced...it's almost impossible to get anywhere, so let's hope they keep their transportation workers happy over the next few months!).

The in-service seemed to go on forever today. I'm not sure if it was because I knew what to anticipate or if it was because I was sitting next to someone who didn't bother showering before coming in today... but it dragged. I opted not to drink the free coffee at the break time, so I'm sure I was also a little less focused. But for a while, I was trying hard to think of excuses to get me out of there (of course I would have never used one because I'm too much a rule follower to try to get out of a mandatory meeting).

At lunch I ate and talked with some of the same folks from yesterday... and it started me thinking about why I am here. There are a variety of people doing this program for a variety of reasons. Some, especially those from England, are here as a way to continue their studies in French. Some are fellow, already-graduated French majors with little idea of what they want to do with their French degree or are using this opportunity to get better/use their French. And then there are others that like French... and who are just using this as another year to fill time before they figure out what they want to do next with their lives. And then there is moi. I'm definitely the only one with a degree in teaching, and might be one of the very few interested in pursuing it as an actual career.

So- I started thinking... why am I here? Is this really the best program for me? I already know how to teach. No, I'm not a veteran teacher, but I've been through student teaching, I've been through courses that explain why and how to teach children certain things at certain levels, I've had real time experience with different age groups and with different needs, etc. It is true that I've never taught English to a class of non-English speakers, so that's new... and some of the activities that we went over today and yesterday aren't new to me, just new to me in this context... so it hasn't been totally wasted time.

But, all the way home, it bothered me that I couldn't remember why I was here. Yeah it's cool to say I've lived abroad, but I don't really care about that. I could have easily gotten a teaching job and had a real salary if I had stayed home. And yet... I'm here. It isn't easy, I miss my family, I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends. I talk to them as much I can, but it's not the same as if I were really there...

Of course, to add to my frustration, as soon as I got home, I realized my phone line had been cut off. I freaked out... trying everything I could think of to get it working again, unplugging and replugging things in... I called Victor frantically... I called Laurence to ask for French phone line advice... and then we figured it out- I don't have very much money in my French bank account, and I've been using my land line to call cell phones at home (my unlimited international calling is a little more limited than I thought, it costs 0,27 euros/minute to call a US cell phone, yikes! Free for US landlines only, stupid fine print...). Turns out they must have some sort of automatic link between my phone and my bank account.... and it cuts me off so I don't go over?

So I put on my running shoes and my sweat suit and literally ran to the bank to deposit more money. As soon as I got home, everything worked again. GAH!

On this little running adventure, a woman, maybe in her 40's, asked me if running made me feel good. I was like, yeah, it helps me get rid of pent up energy when I'm frustrated... and it's healthy I guess. She said, hmm, I've never done sports before, but I think maybe I should try something because I have arthritis. I said, hmm, maybe you shouldn't run, but swimming might be good to try. And then we went on about our banking business. I thought, huh, first of all, cool, I just had a coherent conversation in French without her really knowing I'm not French... and second of all, I'm glad I could encourage someone to try something new.

On my run home, I thought, that's why I'm here! (No, not to give running pep-talks to the French.) I'm here for the cultural exchange. I'm here to learn about their culture, their food, their language, and then to share it with my friends and family. I'm also here to share my culture, my hobbies, my ideas, and my language with the French so that they can share it with their friends and family. (The link between the running story and my sort-of epiphany isn't that magical, but tant pis, that's how it happened).

Although my original reasons for coming to teach in France were to get better at my French (that I studied so hard to learn) and to learn how to teach a foreign language... I think my objectives for being here have changed a little. I know when I come home there will be limited teaching-of-a-foreign language job opportunities at the Elementary level. I also know that I won't be able to keep up with the level of French that I acquire once I return home. But, what I can bring to the table is my newfound cultural experience. I can teach my kids to raise their little fingers instead of their hands. I can insert little French phrases with them or with my own children. I can teach them songs in French. I can start an after-school French club. I can invite friends and family over for a typical French dinner party. I can "right" the "wronged" stereotypes about the French culture. I can show people pictures and write a blog about the amazing new places and interactions I have all over Europe. And hopefully, before I leave, I can impart some newfound cultural experiences to the students I work with, the teachers I collaborate with, and other intrigued bank-goers around the Lyon community, who are wondering why I'm running around Saint-Priest at dinner time to make a deposit at the bank.

Anyway- this may have been painful to read, but I feel like I needed to make it known why I'm here. I hope, for your sakes, that tomorrow, I go do something fun, so that I can blog about it:)

Miss you all. Reste Cool:)